Of Faded Memories

2009-09-22T00:40:00.002+08:00

人长大了，心事多了，话也少说了。

言语不佳的我已不想在这空间多说些什么。

谢谢你们，我的部落格的读者。

2009-08-26T18:57:00.003+08:00

While I like to call myself an escapist, I don't really like the term because it sounds bad. Yet it is true that I am one, according to its definition. And no, it is not something bad or horrible. It just means that because I have no way to express my emotions well, I choose to go running as a means to get away from my troubles. Literally running away from my troubles! And I have a healthy 'mental state'. :D

因为办不到，也逃不了，所以对不起。

2009-08-03T09:16:00.002+08:00

Often, i stare at my screen not knowing what to type in this space. I think it's the monotonous military life :/ certainly, there're many happenings in my boring life, but more often than not, they cannot (or i don't want) to be published on the net. What's the point of owning a blog, then? Sigh.

apart from failing my first driving test with 42points and had a wonderful concert with the alumni, there is nothing else worth mentioning for the month of july :/ my life's kinda sad right? Lol.

speaking of alumni, thanks for the wonderful concert. It feels good to be standing on the stage again.

well, there are too many things i cannot tell, and many others i don't want to. So i guess i won't be blogging again anytime soon. Gdbye.

2009-07-13T11:52:00.000+08:00

“抽刀断水水更流，举杯销愁愁更愁。”

人生不如意之事，十之八九。自问以真诚对待，换取何人的卿赖？自问尽力而为，君是否谅解过失？不求回报的付出，挫败感非笔墨能形容。既然言语不佳，只有以酒销愁愁更愁。

2009-06-27T00:47:00.000+08:00

failed.

it is harder than i thought.

ARGH!

x(

2009-06-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

this time, it's going to be mind over the body and the heart.

no more weak-willed jiahao4. hmph.

2009-05-24T01:59:00.002+08:00

time for little self confession: there are 2 faces of the jh4 you know. allow me to elaborate more.

one, i am easygoing and have no 主见 most of the time. mostly joking around, even if i am the joke. full of nonsense is what i am sometimes. while my tolerance for nonsense is high, i still have quite a (bad) temper.

the other side of me is when i am serious and focused in mission accomplishment - i do not want to hear anything not related to work, neither do i want anything to not go my way. and unnecessary comments will be met with hostile reply (and probably some vulgarities) from me.

so for those who have experienced the aggressive and demanding side of me for the past few days, i am sorry. however, note that i am not apologising for what i had said but is apologising for failing to manage my anger and using milder remarks. this is to say that my opinions and criticism of you stands, and please take it with an open mind. if i had pointed out a trait of yours that you never knew can be that irksome to others, then maybe it is time you reflect on yourself.

that being said, i am not implying that my opinions represent that of the whole population. i personally do not like what i see, but others may be perfectly fine. all of you can choose to think that i am fucked up as a leader, as a coordinator, but i wish our friendship will just grow stronger from there.

i have said what i think is necessary. let's bury the past and move on.

and well, i have never stopped reflecting and correcting my own attitude/personality, and so should you.

----

okay that aside, i should do a little updating. work's as usual, but i've had too many (lengthy) meetings i would like in a week. this is basically because i am always the secretary, and i do not like doing up the minutes at all. luckily for me my boss allowed me to skive and not do minutes for all of them. yet, this does not change the fact that meetings are tiring and not very productive.

lesson learnt 1: i am not going to hold so many meetings when i become the boss next time.

something happened this week (to me) and it affected me really badly. i did not want to get someone else into trouble, but i'd be in deeper shit if found out. so, i went against my conscious and covered it up, knowing there is a chance that eventually, someone totally not related to the case will take the damage for me. it's mentally torturing, but i wish this can all be forgotten soon.

lesson learnt 2: mental torture is far worst than physical punishment.

then of course there is how i have failed the alumni choir today. the day i stepped into alumni room and said i am going to perform, i have decided to never use "i am not musically talented and trained" as an excuse for screwing up any practice. and i did not today. but i say again, i really did try to do what we are supposed to, but i placed too much emphasise on relearning the notes with hc. and, well, i am not a good teacher and the practice was not effective. (to think i was the bass SL. what bullshit)

lesson learnt 3: it is not easy admitting your mistake, but it is harder getting in sync with the team when you allow mistakes to be made.

on a lighter note, i am happy with the turnout for today's gathering at jason's chalet. more than that is my joy when jason announced he has gotten his scholarship to australia to do what he wanted to :D in a few months' time i'd be missing my dear friend from amkgang! since you have told me you cannot bear to leave the class, i am, as the class events coordinator (self-proclaimed), going to organise more chances for you to meet up with the class people in time to come. 6th june is one and you better be there!(:

as for myself, i am offered the fac scholarship for NUS. i'm not exceptionally happy about it though. anyway, the bad news that came with it is that i have to give a reply by next wed, which is the day SAF will be giving me a reply on my application. i'm quite decided in rejecting NUS actually, but i'll just wait until the very last minute lah huh?

2009-05-10T02:19:00.001+08:00

如果愛可以存起來，

人生就不會有憾。

2009-05-03T00:19:00.002+08:00

met xingqun today. it's been such a long time i last sat down and talked to him like this. well, though short, but i hope he understands what i had said.

today was the first time i used the term 'situational friends'. i coined up the term though, to describe xq. to him, friends were derivatives of situations and occasions. i can't stop thinking about the conversation we had. why are we, born on the same day, so different? back in the JC days, I thought we were somewhat similar, though not apparent. if you are reading this, yes the trust is there, but i am not one who based decisions on the most volatile emotion.

the short conversation also made me realised that i had to be the most insecured guy among all friends i knew. my insecurity had shaped my social behaviour and my priorities. all this while i knew i was insecure, but i never knew i was this insecure. there is so much i have yet discovered about myself, yet everytime there is progress, i dislike myself even more. ironic.

okay time for some lighthearted topics! i chanced upon a puzzle shop yesterday in cwp, and i saw the yellow doraemon and doraemi globe-puzzle! omg i want to own them and put them up on display in my room together with my collection of doraemon toys and accessories and comics and everything else doraemon! but they are so ex. and speaking about ex, i didn't know you spent so much on my bday yq! and you told me the puzzle's cheap =X (actually i'm very happy. though it's the only present i had this year, it is something i really wanted) :D

if i own a car, i am going to buy that 2 puzzle and secure it to my dashboard. and luan, i've decided not to spray my car because it is really gay HAHA.

2009-04-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

I AM SO TIRED!!!

hmm seems like everytime i blog, i'm very tired. Bleah.

while waiting for work to end (20mins more YAY!), I've decided to stop going through that 170pages of report and leave it to next monday. The amount of paper work leading up to the upcoming inspection (my exam) is TOO MUCH! And it's useless too. Ever written and vetted a 170pg report knowing that the inspectors (or ''examinars'') only need them for show and do not bother reading it?

okay i'll summarise the events that lead to an exhausted me:
1) IPPT. I had IPPT on wednesday morning. It was the first IPPT i had since i commission. Well, new year resolution 1 cleared! I've finally gotten myself a GOLD! :D the price to pay is overworked muscles (because i did not condition myself to do 2.4km since i commissioned). Speaking of 2.4km, i'm just glad my timing's 9min35sec. Slower than before, but still commendable right? *clap clap* :D

2) MIO Dining in. Was made to go for this fine dining event BECAUSE they need me to be the flag bearer. (to think i paid 60+ to get arrowed by enciks) it was fun and memorable though. It ended at 11pm ytd and when i reach camp and settle every other admin nonsense, it's already 12am. So, i had no choice but to sleep in my office. (luckily i'm an officer. My duty driver gave up his mattress to let me sleep on. My ''PA'' was not so lucky he had to sleep on the cold tiles. Poor thing.)

3) tuition. Tuition was tiring because it extented the time my brain had to work for wednesday, the day i took IPPT in morning, did colours party rehearsal whole of afternoon, and 2hrs of tuition at night.

4) last but not least, the mountain of paper work to do. And of course, the pressure my boss place on my tiny rank to excel in this inspection. BLEAH!!

okay lah it's almost time to fall in the guys. Shall update another day, when i'm tired. :D

2009-04-05T05:02:00.000+08:00

I AM SOOOOOOO TIRED!!

but it's okay. I've had an eventful day hurhur. Blogging from my phone in nuer's house while xiang's studying and the rest sleeping. If there's one skill i picked up from army, it'd be the ability to stay awake and alert for more than 24hrs hahaha!

oh wells so yeah, today is nuer's bday! HAPPY BDAY NUER! :D though the party was not very party-ish, but i thought it was a great gathering. (except that there're 4couples HAHA) nevermind that i hope you like my present!(:

it's early morning and i love ann's carpet grass patch and its morning dew. It's really really relaxing! I want to own one next time so i can pitch a tent and sleep 'outfield' with my kids. Let them experience how wonderful outdoor&nature is :D (then again, the small grass patch is very very very expensive! =X)

plans for today: go pay respects to my grandpa and return home to sleep!(:

2009-03-29T21:08:00.002+08:00

my butt hurts! from cycling the whole night. but i must say, it's fun and i'm looking forward to the actual event on good friday =D

nothing i want to blog about in particular. hmm new happenings since i last blogged include my first driving lesson at ubi and the overnight cycling. HAHA. my life is SO BORING can!

driving..i switched from school to private. regretted making that rash decision to sign up for school last year. i just forfeited my $166.50 worth of registration fee and paid an additional $80 to register with the private instructor. ah, but all's well. under private i can cut the number of lessons by more than 10, and every lesson's cheaper too. PLUS, it's more flexible. and i must say my instructor's really nice and friendly. even though i already knew how to drive, but i still think he's quite a good teacher. if you need a private instructor at ubi you can approach me i intro mine to you(:

then there's the overnight cycling. roughly 47km in total! HAHA. so proud of myself. i nearly died you know! my thighs were burning and dying on the way back to pasir ris from vivo, but i did it! WOOHOO! hahah. cycling is fun and i should do it more often. maybe i'll save and get myself a road bike for bday next year. HMM! =D

okay apart from these two updates, all's well at work. i'm becoming more involved and also speaking more. hope they won't form a bad impression of me after i became more picky and all. but nvm lah huh? slowly implement changes hoping it won't be too late. yeah.

2009-03-19T22:55:00.002+08:00

how do you go about effecting changes and implementing policies in office when your colleagues are at least 20years older than you? hmm..

i think the more important question is, how do i tell them "you guys are not doing a good job" when i'm just a greenhorn in this sector and new in office. plus, i don't know many things i am supposed to know. HMM..

i respect them, but i am posted here as their leader. though 20years or more younger, i do think need to step in. but how do i go about doing it? maybe i'm not cut to be a leader afterall.

2009-03-14T22:57:00.001+08:00

“不写情词不写诗, 一方素帕寄心知。心知拿了颠倒看, 横也丝[思]来竖也丝[思], 这般心事有谁知。”

=(

2009-03-11T23:05:00.004+08:00

happy (belated) bday to me!(:

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING MORE! WATCH THIS! =D

ahhh! ELLA! *melts* i'm going to pick up canto JUST FOR HER!

my second bday in army, just that this time round i had a day off from work. still, i was tired and swollen everywhere(due to mosquito bites) from outfield the night before. you know, i used to get very worked up if no one celebrates my bday with me. well, now it doesnt really matter anymore cos i know who i matter to.

there isn't much things for me to blog about nowadays. i'm going share something i've been thinking about the past few days. IF i can turn back time, what would i have done differently?

one, i know i want to take up an instrument. i really want to learn how to play the piano, but even if i can turn back time, i wun be able to learn piano cos it's so expensive! so after weighing the opportunity costs, i decided that i'll go take guitar lessons as well as drums! HAHA.

two, i'd have put in more effort in guiding my sister. somehow, i really felt it was my fault for her current state. not that she's a girl gone bad or anything, just that she could have been a better person. not just the results, but her personality. if i hadn't quarrelled so much with her then, if i had not been jealous..but oh wells.

three, i'd be more outgoing and proactive in getting what i want. firstly, i think many people think i'm the extrovert, sociable and outspoken kind. BUT I AINT! i really aren't. i wonder how that impression of me was formed anyway. i only open up to someone after i get to know him/her for a period of time. and i'm really shy okay! HAHA. and i dun like to inconvenience others. (i think luan was quite annoyed with me when i tried to convince her to not have dinner with me ytd when i wanted her to HAHA)

four, since i know how horrible my r/s in JC was, i'd not fall into the same pit again. and i would give ohsix more time!

and many more other things i want to change. but wells, there are just so many things i think i have done wrong, and so many regrets! but i'm only 20, so i think there're possibilities of making up for lost time if i take action now. afterall, 幸福是要自己争取的！(:

2009-03-03T21:24:00.004+08:00

there is nothing wrong with being crazy over pretty lady! ELLA KOON IS SUPER PRETTY CAN!

HAHA. she's the main female lead for the 8pm HK drama on chnl55, starhub cable tv. i detest her character at first, but then i grew to like her as i sunk deeper into the drama's plot! it's a infatuation i declare to everyone HAHA! for this reason, i have only missed 1 episode for the past 2weeks okay! =D

so in any case, if u like HK drama and u have nothing to watch currently, why not go watch this show? 律征新人王2。and then u can tell me if u like Lily Sun in the show too! so far i've found 1 fan of her in camp and we have been discussing about the drama everyday! (i know this sounds like what girls usually do? but just so you know, guys do behave like this too okay!)

i wanted to publish my fav photo of her here, but i'm selfish and i'm not sharing! TOO BAD! hahahahahah =D

2009-03-02T22:14:00.004+08:00

for those who bothers to visit my blog, i'm back to update!

hee. today i had the worst day in camp, and probably the best night outside! i shall elaborate.

work sucks today. basically, i was screwed for nothing. the whole story goes sth like this:
a colleague of mine was in charge of organising a safety seminar. he was not there for the final rehearsal and, by Murphy's Law, things went wrong. he did not brief anyone to take over his duties as IC, and he gave conflicting instructions and super general tasking for his crew. this resulted in a rehearsal NOT done. saved files corrupted (i seriously think it is impossible, if not for Murphy's Law). when my CO arrived for inspection, i got screwed for 'being the highest rank and not taking action in ensuring everything is in order." great. so it was my fault. i wasn't told i am the second in command. and HELLO! I'M HIGHER RANK THAN MY COLLEAGUE PLEASE! =/ anyway, CO unhappy, what can i do? i get down to work. i produce a much nicer, much higher standard powerpoint slide in 30min okay. i was dead tired, hungry, and angry. the exact moment i finished cleaning up the mess for him, he reappeared, claiming credit for all i've done. GREAT! and my CO, being a nice guy, was not pissed now that i've got everything up and running the way he likes it, did not reprimand him at all! EXCELLENT! okay so the seminar was a success. everyone praised him. who cared about me? boo.

anyway, i must admit i had myself to blame. i knew somethings aren't quite the way my CO wants it on friday? but i'm lazy to tell him. well, because if my CO doesn't like it, he'll get the blame, not me. (in any case, i dunlike him. so i dun mind him getting screwed.) but i was wrong. i was selfish. so i apologise for my undesirable trait. =X

okay so my day was bad. heavy downpour came out of nowhere and sustained for more than an hour after working hours. i had no way to leave camp, and i did not want to fall sick. poor me.

it was then things started to get better. my CSM offered to send me out to the main gate. i'd still have to walk in the rain until the bus stop, but better than nothing right? after i got out of the car, i ran into my storemen (who left earlier as they have umbrellas with them). one of them is wearing a cloaked sweater, so he offered me his umbrella! yay dryness until bus stop. 169 came immediately after i set foot into the bus stop. YAY! and it's not crowded at all! unlike 169 on other days. when i reached AMK, rain's so small it's barely a drizzle. so, no problem walking around AMK staying dry =D

then i met my mum for dinner! hahah it has to be the best. without my sis/dad around, i can talk to my mum about everything! uh, except relationship stuff, but i'm trying. anyway, i felt so much better after complaining to her about that asshole colleague of mine. then i received an sms telling me the optics shop i go to is giving me 50% discount as it's my bday month! so i dragged her to specs shopping with me, and bought myself a new pair of specs for my bday. wheee! my first present from myself. HAHA. then she suggested we have icecream, so we went to get some cornettos and headed home for our favourite HK drama =D

i think i'm really blessed to have a mum like this. she's like my friend. i can talk to her about anything! again, not r/s stuff. but she knows. i dunno how, but she knows who i'm with, whether or not i'm in love, if i had a gf, so on..she claims she can read my mind, and i really think she can. i dun think many have a mum like me! a mum who u can talk to about ur friends and she actually knows who they are. like, i talked to her about xiangting, luan, ann, wanli, steph, jason, boonhong, jeanne, laoda, royston and many many others. i'm proud of the fact that my mum knows my friends and i can gossip with her about them! hahaha. so dun be surprised if my mum questions u about ur recent happenings if u meet her =D

i think i've typed quite alot. but i'm going to say one last thing! my bday is next tues! it's a great day! government is giving me my allowance on my bday! i'm going to apply for a day off on that day to go back to njc to find ms mandy chua and to visit choir! and also to do up my scholarship stuff.

oh and there isn't a need to celebrate for me. not in the mood this year. but a meal will do! i can catch up with u people at the same time too(: my motto for this year: concurrent activities - maximum efficiency and gain from minimum input.

2009-02-18T23:27:00.002+08:00

i think scholarship essays are tough to write. i have no idea what to write for them! =X

another problem: most of my teachers have left the teaching profession. WHO TO WRITE REFERRAL LETTER?! >.<

maybe it was my own mistake for being lazy and undecided and not applying last year. hope things will go fine. i need a scholarship.

don't know why but i'm feeling ambitious nowadays. maybe it's because of what my CO said to me. maybe it's because of the encouragement my surbordinates have given me. in any case, i want to be someone significant! but, my language ability (or should it be disability?) may be a bigger obstacle than i can fathom. HMMMM...

that day i was walking home after a tiring day in camp, and stoning along the way. then suddenly, i saw the banner of MPs in Ang Mo Kio GRC, and i thought to myself, "i want to be a minister!" HAHAH. go ahead and laugh at me. i know it's impossible BUT! you'll never know.

so much for daydreaming. reality check 1: my AWOL-ed technician is captured. this means more (paper) work for me in the upcoming days! and visits to DB. and also a chance to appear in court marshall and defend a surbordinate i have never seen before. sounds challenging!

reality check 2: IPPT is coming up and i need to get a gold this time round. i need more focused training and more discipline! i can't fail my own new year resolution, can i?

reality check 3: my CO daughter's common test is tomorrow! i have put in my best effort to teach, but she is not improving. and this makes me worry and disappointed in myself. i can't be a lousy teacher right? this is one fact i'll refuse to accept, IF it is a fact.

reality check 4: it's past midnight and i have another long day at work tmr. i should sleep like now!

and i'm meeting nuer this sat! yayness!
nuer grow up liao now i'm mister lee jia hao to her can! hahaha.

song currently playing on my wmp: The Music of the Night. definitely and moving and touching song(:

2009-02-08T20:25:00.002+08:00

somewhere around this time last year was the worst time i'm having in army.

everything about the army now is not worth mentioning anymore. i've survived through all trainings and now own an office in nee soon camp and enjoying life as a young 2LT protected by his bosses.

but the heartache i had to endure..well. i shall not say anything. it's been a year and it still affects me. "if i could, i would." nothing puts my situation in place more aptly than this phrase, i believe.

in any case, if u think i'm different from the jiahao4 u used to know, dun doubt urself. it's true, i've changed. by a lot in fact. and for the worst i think. well for one, i dun really like who i am anymore. sometimes i despise myself, sometimes i'm proud of myself. it's just so..i dunno. as if i'm struggling to establish my own identity, yet i ain't trying to do so.

knowing myself, i dun think i'll like the upcoming 2weeks. so in case i give any of u guys attitude, i shall apologise in advance. it aint easy stopping memories from coming back.

2009-02-01T11:49:00.000+08:00

Happy b'day everyone! :D

for those who still visits my blog, thanks. It's dying, i know. But nvm lah hahah! It's the 7th day of first lunar month so it's everyone's bday today! So, WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS?! (:

i want an acoustic guitar.
I want an electronic drumset.
I want a queen-size bed.
I want an ipod touch.
I want a blueberry cheesecake.
I want play soccer.
I want play badminton.
I want a new laptop.

hahah i want so many things but it's okay i'll get them one by one some day yay!

more than anything else, i want my dad to be appreciated by my lousy, ungrateful uncles and aunties.

and my grandma to be able to play mahjong happily like she did ytd with me.

every cny, something uglier surfaced on both my parents' family. Adult world is so dark and disappointint.

am turning 20 soon. But i dunwan to grow up.

2009-01-11T22:08:00.002+08:00

i should make an effort to update.

about work..well there isn't anything interesting. most of the thing i wun be able to post it here anyway. but ya, life is boring now. cos nothing to do. hope things pick up momentum soon. i'd rather be busy than slacking i think. ya i will.

i've finally decided that i'll get myself a new wallet! and i got it. of cos, not those expensive ones lah. i love cheap and brandless stuff HAHA. if it's an imitation then not so good lah BUT i still like them cos they are cheap! =D yea. so i got myself one. i hope my mum is right about changing wallet to keep my money in. i need to save to recover from the deficit i incurred >.<

and wells..nothing especially worth blogging about. except perhaps this quote i came across today.

"Love me not for who i am, but for who i aren't."

and to you, thanks(:

2009-01-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

Happy new year to all! Even though i'm 5days late(:

i didnt end and start my new year very nicely, less said about those whom i have affected as well. I do think i was at fault, but the truth is that it was never my intention to hurt. Really. Just, well, i wasnt careful with my thought processes and choices of language i suppose.

in any case, i wasnt at all thrilled about my new posting too. Coy2IC does sound like a powerful and demanding role. And it is, just that i am absolved of many duties and responsibilities and of cos, of decisions i have to make. Maybe because im new and my oc doesnt want to 'bully' me with the new stuff? But it is so different from what i expected and i just don't know how to make myself useful. Other than accepting requests by my sergeants to be the MC for CNY celebration, performing a song, turn up for fmn dnd, etc.

as much as i hate saying this, but the new year has taught me that i am not as good as i think i am. Meaning to say, i've seen so much flaws in myself. So many things i hate about myself, but it's just so weird to say 'i hate myself' when i should be loving myself, right? 'who doesn't have flaws?' is a comforting thought, but who doesn't want to be flawless?

and therefore, besides those tangible and physical achievements, i have 2resolutions for the year 2009. 1) to be a better friend and, 2) to be a better commander.

oh, and i think only few can judge if i have fulfilled 1), but none can judge if i have fulfilled 2). I do hope my drivers and storemen will like me and listen to me! Hah.

2008-12-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

would you have done something even if you know that it will hurt someone else? someone you cared for?

i had done it a few times before. and this time round, i regret more than ever.

then again, harms' done. and i have only myself to blame i supposed.

i likened it to a conversation my dad and i had. about him wanting to quit smoking. he never once regretted smoking, but he also knows of the harmful effect it has on us. i'd never understand why the love for his family is not sufficient to bring him to quit smoking long ago, or even now. was it because he trusted in our love for him to forgive, to accept?

was it in me that i've believe no harm would be made? was i too blinded to see the extent of hurt? i knew there would be, but not this deep. nor the extent that frightens me.

never felt so lost before.

Commissioning Ball

2008-12-18T04:01:00.001+08:00

At this hour, im actually very tired. Comms ball was fun. Well, it was better than expected. The food wasnt bad and the company's best(: luan was a great date! Thanks luan. Though u caused us to be late. But in the end u lugi, cos my photog friend wanted to help us take nice photos IF we were early. Hah.

after comms ball went to clarke quay with jw and yq. Luan and ck were there too but they left for food after we decided to go separate ways. Jw and yq wanted to go kbox, but we ended up at clinic's instead. Sat down and had a drink before they decide to go home. Now, here's the stupid part. After sending them to the taxi stand, i walked towards liangcourt bus stop thinking that i can catch NR1. So i waited. After an hour, the bus is still not here! At this point, a friend passed by and informed me that NRs are not in service on weekdays minus fridays. WALAU! Damn pissed with myself can! Im so suagu lah didnt know. But cannot blame lah huh im so innocent i dun go clubbing one =D

okay am really tired. Hopefully luan will upload the photos on facebook for me soon. Camwhored alot(with jw esp) until my jaws abit sour. Block leave is ending! Boo.

well btw, luan u look pretty tonight lah so stop saying u look like ghost. It's just u're not used to seeing urself with makeup. Ur sis did a great job u know(: ohh and yq is really a nice girl(like what jw told me). And i like her earrings. Hahah.

2008-12-17T02:48:00.002+08:00

went for my first carolling practice yesterday. it's been such a long time since i last sang in a choir! and it feels so good. like...aiya! i cant describe lah. my england very powderful one =/

x'mas is coming and i feel like asking for presents! but santa always absent on xmas one lor. i want a new hp, new mp3, new laptop, new bag, etc. everything i want it new! hahaa. i dun mind if santa can get me a new gf too LOL. but better not lah huh. girls, trouble only. =P

oh and i am NOT turning gay. neither am i gay. (targetted at nuer)

okok comms ball is tonight so i should sleep early. feel like running but keep cant find the time to. either wake too late or alrdy have activities planned. i should make it a point to go njc earlier on thurs to run. HAH.