alrights. i'm enlisting today! 11th jan! woohoo. so fun right. i'm like TOTALLY excited about it? =/ whatever.

okay so ytd wasnt all the enjoyable as a "last day in singapore for the next 2 weeks" thing. i'd describe my entire day as disappointing and sad. that's why my nick says "jiahao4 feels like...crying." seriously, i feel this way because of things that didnt happen, not those that happened.

1) i just wanted a reunion dinner of some sort. how long was it when the 4 of us sat down and have a proper family dinner before? hello ur son is going into army and are u any more concerned about me than the cat there on ave6? whatever man.

2) i merely wanted to meet up with my aunt family who doted me the most. i just want to see them lor. some dinner it was supposed to be.

3) i only wanted a little of ur time lor. never mind if u can't go tmr morning. never mind if u can't take leave to pei me the whole of ytd. not even dinner? im not blaming ur mum for not letting u go. u probably didnt fight for it anyway..as usual? i dunno. correct if im wrong.

all i wanted is to spend the day with the ones i love. guess what? i guess im a complete loser who no one loves. whatever. at least i have luan and ann. hmphh.

and yes. im hurt. i really am. my friends care for me more than you people do anyway. u all care for me inside, but what's the point of caring if u dun show it? might as well dun show. at least i dun need to keep haunting myself with the qn "do they care?" right. i only wanted that LITTLE reassurance to keep me secured, keep me happy lor. bleah. whatever. i really feel like a complete loser.

ns is just another phase of my life which i wish people i love is there to accompany me enter this totally new phase. just like how parents help a baby learn how to walk. hmph.