梦有你而美 =）
and once again, u found your way into my dreams. i'm grateful, for it gives me yet another opportunity to relish the happy moments. thankyou(:
who am i thanking anyway? myself, cos dreams are formed by my thoughts in the day? you, because u might have been thinking of me? dunno. but i know that i love to dream. to have dreams. of you. though it may be hurtful at times, but everytime i dream i learnt something new. about us, about you, about me.
few months ago, i dread dreaming of you. cos, if it was of happy moments, then i'll wake up crying. if it wasn't, then i'll be brooding over it the next day in school/during training/at home. wondering why i've done that and what i could've done to avoid things from happening. then i always end up with the realisation that, 'hey, you're gone. what's the point of holding on?', then my day will end on a low note. i supposed.
starting 1mth ago, i yearn for you to appear in my dreams. because i missed you so. but aboveall, cos i was learning to accept. to accept that it was impossible anymore. well, quite a hard thought to swallow, but i have to learn somehow, don't i? sometimes i still wake up affected, like this morning, then i was glad that i revisited the past. it made me treasure everybit of happy moments we shared. and it made coming to terms with the present, the impossiblity of us, easier.
it's easier. when i talked about us to my buddy, in brunei. when i sat alone outside the bunk looking at the stars that we both liked. when selecting songs from my mp3. when...and the list goes on. and, i can now recollect without much hard feelings.
and, i do know who to thank. 'to hold on so that u can move on', from my buddy. 'relish in the happy ones, and learn from the bad ones', from mingxuan and jiawei. and of cos, luan. for telling me straight from the very beginning, or the end, that it is impossible.
并不是真的，路过而已；
也不是真的，不会想你；
全都不是真的，是骗自己。
其实还爱你，爱著你。
From David Tao's 流沙. it describes the state of denial i was in. coming to terms with delusion isn't easy. acceptance hurts, but at least it moves me on.
i guess, it's time to move. before im late and luan will just scream. actually, i wonder if she woke up alrdy. hahah. alrights, off i go. today, i feel so much lighter and happier.
=)
and once again, u found your way into my dreams. i'm grateful, for it gives me yet another opportunity to relish the happy moments. thankyou(:
who am i thanking anyway? myself, cos dreams are formed by my thoughts in the day? you, because u might have been thinking of me? dunno. but i know that i love to dream. to have dreams. of you. though it may be hurtful at times, but everytime i dream i learnt something new. about us, about you, about me.
few months ago, i dread dreaming of you. cos, if it was of happy moments, then i'll wake up crying. if it wasn't, then i'll be brooding over it the next day in school/during training/at home. wondering why i've done that and what i could've done to avoid things from happening. then i always end up with the realisation that, 'hey, you're gone. what's the point of holding on?', then my day will end on a low note. i supposed.
starting 1mth ago, i yearn for you to appear in my dreams. because i missed you so. but aboveall, cos i was learning to accept. to accept that it was impossible anymore. well, quite a hard thought to swallow, but i have to learn somehow, don't i? sometimes i still wake up affected, like this morning, then i was glad that i revisited the past. it made me treasure everybit of happy moments we shared. and it made coming to terms with the present, the impossiblity of us, easier.
it's easier. when i talked about us to my buddy, in brunei. when i sat alone outside the bunk looking at the stars that we both liked. when selecting songs from my mp3. when...and the list goes on. and, i can now recollect without much hard feelings.
and, i do know who to thank. 'to hold on so that u can move on', from my buddy. 'relish in the happy ones, and learn from the bad ones', from mingxuan and jiawei. and of cos, luan. for telling me straight from the very beginning, or the end, that it is impossible.
并不是真的，路过而已；
也不是真的，不会想你；
全都不是真的，是骗自己。
其实还爱你，爱著你。
From David Tao's 流沙. it describes the state of denial i was in. coming to terms with delusion isn't easy. acceptance hurts, but at least it moves me on.
i guess, it's time to move. before im late and luan will just scream. actually, i wonder if she woke up alrdy. hahah. alrights, off i go. today, i feel so much lighter and happier.
=)
posted by Jiahao4 | 11:54 AM
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