i've been posting so much. probably cos i've been thinking.

well, just yesterday, i looked through photos of s06 that grace sent me last time. i miss everyone so much. but then, i realised that i aint very close to each and everyone to start with. cos i'm always with choir. feel so distant from the class. from the 'very bonded class'. maybe i wasnt included in the bonded part? i only appeared in the photos like in 3 sets of clothing, meaning i only attended 3 of the cls outings? or 3 of those times we took photo. but still, isnt that pathetic?

how i wish im in many other photos. like, the first 3mths photo we took at the campfire night. why must choir audition be on that instant they took the photo? or, the class photo during teachers' day at the parade square? why was there a choir meeting? and why am i the only one in white njc polo on NDP celebration? cos i had to perform for choir?

yeah. choir choir choir. i spent so much time in choir. the friendships i forged in choir, how many actually lasted beyond JC period? people i thought i were close to, where were they? oh mans. quite pathetic isn't it? to think ann and luan was with me since anderson.

if i look at things this way, it appears that my JC life was quite really wasted. if i could turn back time, if i could have done things differently..what's the point regretting anyway. but IF i could, there's one thing i'd definitely have done, spare more time for yisong.

wasn't i random? to mention yisong out of a sudden. i feel bad. he was a friend i thought i had. but i guess i didnt take much initiative. i was always busy with choir, and he was with council. i thought he had s06. i thought, maybe after As, i'll have more time to know him better. then i had problems with chuwen, and then carolling, and then ns. i always thought. i thought he knew he mattered to us, or at least, to me. i thought the class will do something about the issue. i thought i thought i thought...nonsense. i feel so shi bai. always think and never put into action. is now too late? my smses werent replied. my calls werent answered. does it matter if im the only one trying? at least, i genuinely want to be ur friend.

oh well..if u are really trying to shun us, then i guess u wun be reading this post either.

back to s06. well, i wish i had more time to know u all better. it's kinda late now, no? one regret that will follow me to my grave.

if you could reverse time, what would u do differently? give it a thought. it isn't that late to start making up for things now.

greatest regret in life is to live with a regret. how true, how apt.