somewhere around this time last year was the worst time i'm having in army.

everything about the army now is not worth mentioning anymore. i've survived through all trainings and now own an office in nee soon camp and enjoying life as a young 2LT protected by his bosses.

but the heartache i had to endure..well. i shall not say anything. it's been a year and it still affects me. "if i could, i would." nothing puts my situation in place more aptly than this phrase, i believe.

in any case, if u think i'm different from the jiahao4 u used to know, dun doubt urself. it's true, i've changed. by a lot in fact. and for the worst i think. well for one, i dun really like who i am anymore. sometimes i despise myself, sometimes i'm proud of myself. it's just so..i dunno. as if i'm struggling to establish my own identity, yet i ain't trying to do so.

knowing myself, i dun think i'll like the upcoming 2weeks. so in case i give any of u guys attitude, i shall apologise in advance. it aint easy stopping memories from coming back.