merry xmas? i think i need to edit my previous post. rarh. u know how i'm feeling right now? i feel hatred! i hate you, you, you and YOU! EVERYONE OF YOU! =( i hate couples on the streets. i hate lovers in the park. i hate candlelight diners in restuarants. i hate xmas! so much for the season of giving. yes, i'm giving. and that's all i do right? i give everyone my time, my attention, my care, my love..when am i going to receive any? [shuddup if u are trying to say "hey but i cared for you!" bcos let me have my way for once =(] wanna know 3 things that spoilt my xmas? here i'll name it for you.

ONE. you spoilt it when our r/s failed. i let go of u and make u fall hard? ever considered the pain i went through before i let go? ever wonder the loneliness i felt? what about the pain i endured when i hold on to the r/s and u dun seem to care about me a bit? so many things occured, so many things that hurt. there's no point in saying them anyway cos u wun understand, and what difference does it make? it's over. it has ended. full stop.

TWO. of all people, why must you spoil my closest friend's xmas? u may not know im referring to u, but let me tell u this, u are such a bastard. it's so hard to believe anyone like u can survive on earth for 18years and still surviving pretty well. everything's a joke to u? u just make me so disappointed in friendships, especially the one with u. perhaps u are laughing at me right now and saying bad things about me when im typing this post. something like "jiahao that bastard is such a weakling everyday emo over nothing". seriously, someone needs to wack some sense into you. before u ruin ur own life in the future. the moment u spoilt her xmas, u spoilt my xmas too. bastard.

THREE. actually i dunno what to rank as the 3rd thing that spoilt my xmas. everything just come together and spoil my white xmas. well so i think im not going to type anything here lah.

so yeah, my xmas is a total flop. i think im on santa's blacklist. wonder what i've done. maybe cos my house no chimney. bleahs.

ohh ya and i wanted to say things to my 2 nice and close friends who got tgt on xmas(or eve?)! =D hellohello. i hope one of u is reading this. i didnt mean to say those stuff and pour cold water on ur and walked out of macs just now. =( i was truly happy for ur. well, early in the morning i was alrdy planning ways to react(to show that im happy) when ur eventually break the news to me. ahh. guess i was too affected by all that happened. when i cooled down, h2h talk with me again k? =) once again, congrats!

people say the 18th year of ur life is the most unforgettable one. so true. i've seen and been through so much that i'm nvr the same old jiahao i was a year ago. maybe entering NJC was the wisest choice of my life. =)

merry x'mas! (:

maybe i shouldnt put the smiley there right cos i'm kinda emo-ish right now. abit sad and troubled lah haii. it hurts to see my friends troubled and sad and all..all i ask from santa is for u to be happy! hahahah sounds so cliche. anyway, to all those emo-ing out there, STOP EMO-ING AND GET A LIFE! IT'S XMAS! =D

alright my xmas eve isnt anywhere close to enjoyable. it's closer to sad bleah. duncare duncare. it's xmas so im just going to be happy for the next 24hr before i go back to being sad. WAHAHA! anyway, thanks for the gifts and letters people! and especially luan! ur letter is so touching i feel like crying! rest assure im not the kind that will enter ur life and then leave suddenly de =)

well there are so many things i wanna say to so many people. but i cant use my blog to say all cos some aint meant for all to read! hahaha. check ur emails soon ba i think i will send emails instead of letters.

so anyway, xmas eve was horrible for me. if u dunno why, dun ask. if u do, dun tell. HAHAHA. alrights i think it's time to go sleep alrdy. goodnight! (:

bahh! =(

it's been long since i last blogged. so many things happened during this period of time. but im not going to blog about them at all. dunwan to be reminded of the stuff that might make me sadder than i am now.

u know how things worked and failed as easily as 1 plus 1? i dunno. nothing seems to be going my way. i hate to say this but seriously, i think i suck. do u know how it feels like when someone so important to u is angry at u and u dunno what u've done? it sucks. and it makes me feel like a loser and an asshole.

anyway, nuer i didnt pangseh on purpose k. now that i know what happened from luan, i think it is my fault lah. i rmb i told u i'll join ur first then go find my friend? haii. u are right to be angry with me but dun angry for too long lah! i really dun mean it. i dunno what i was thinking that day but i think no point in trying to explain my actions now right? haii. sorry.

so basically, my life is screwed cos i messed it all up myself. rarh.

hello! (:

TJC Music for Life Concert ended ytd! thanks for everyone who came down to support me(or negativ)! hee i personally want to thank jeanne and boon! thanks for coming despite only the 2 of ur coming =) and of cos, JINGWEN! hahaha thanks for coming down i'll treat u sth ncie on sun to make up for that sth that happened =D

I wouldnt dare say we put up the best performance ytd. i admit i forgot a few beats here and there, and i wonder why i sounded so off beat in the recording! it was alright when i hear myself from the house speakers. maybe the acoustic. hahahah. and ya, there's much to learn from every performance with negativ. one thing we couldnt master was of cos the mic balance. it's difficult to judge from the house speakers, and the sound team needs to be very coorperative and zai too. so difficult to put up a close to perfect performance right? oh wells..but i must thank tjc's sound team and ryan(the beatboxer) for helping us out on the sound system =)

to negativ! it was really fun beatboxing with u guys and ur changed my life alot. but, i will still get sick of seeing u guys everyday for the past 2 weeks! take care of ur throats over the weekends and sleep more! let's put up the best performance for the graduating(or graduated) J2 batch on gradnight =D and, pls dun be late for the rehearsal. hahahaha.

alrights time to go sleep alrdy tmr is the long awaited 4/7 gathering! yanghan is back! yay! =D here's a photo of negativ for ur viewing pleasure hahahaha!